You know you’ll be a helicoptor parent…

babymusic

…if you listen to scientists who apparently say that babies exposed to music while in-utero display advanced capabilities as far as intelligence, coordination and learning faculties go and strap this contraption to your stomach. Seriously? As someone who very well knows how terrible some people’s taste in music goes (I’m looking at you Nickleback fans!), isn’t this unfair torture or abuse to someone who’s not even developed enough to be a minor yet? In honor of two people who have just announced their first pregnancy, I submit to you…The Top Ten Songs I’d play to My Sea Monkey In-Utero, by Neil and Jessica.

10. Mr. Brightside – The Killers (for a well-behaved kid)
9. Anarchy in the UK – Sex Pixtols (for a bad-behaved kid)
8. A Boy Named Sue – Johnny Cash (for a not-so-nice looking kid)
7. Beautiful – Snoop Dog (for a nice-looking kid)
6. Dumb – Nirvana (for a dumb kid)
5. The Information – Beck (for a smart kid)
4. Jailbreak – Thin Lizzy (will lead to an easy labor)
3. Fight for Your Right (to party) – Beastie Boys (may lead to a difficult labor)
2. Boys of Summer – Don Henley (if you want it to be a boy)
1. Girls, Girls, Girls - Motley Crue (if you want it to be a girl)

Edited to add: If you are seriously interested in this contraption, you’ll  find it for $99.99 over at Think Geek

Comments

  1. That’s quite the mix and match of music! I’m surprised there is no NIN on the list.

  2. We didn’t want to appear too biased.

  3. LOL! I’ve already seen this. I don’t think I like the contraption…something about it surrounding my body…I don’t know. I think they’re planning on the parent playing classical music or something soothing. Some studies have suggested that Mozart or Beethoven being played enhances brain activity in children, but they can’t prove that it works in the womb.

    I also read an article that said just turning on music while you’re in a room will work just as well because a lot of to be mom’s think they have to turn the music up if they put speakers on their stomach when the opposite is actually true. Sound is amplified in the womb. Therefore, I’ll just turn some music on via my Walkman. Probably some Johnny Cash, Beach Boys, and ABBA.

  4. Cute list Jes, thanks for posting it! :-)

  5. Sam, did you hear about the new ABBA theme park they are building?

  6. NO FREAKING WAY!

  7. link

    way.

  8. Oh the minute you told me that I totally looked it up. I’m just itching to go!

  9. Lincoln has a huge love for the Dropkick Murphy’s…even got to see them live at 7 months old. We’d hoped this would continue and not be diluted by top 40 pop but 4 days in the car with my husband who’s apparently in love with Taylor Swift has turned both my boys into fans of fair Taylor and (gasp!) Miley Cyrus….hangs head in shame. He still likes a little punk mixed in. Thank god.

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