Being 19 weeks pregnant has initiated a gut reality check that I am halfway through and that on the other side of what feels like a few mere weeks, I (and Neil of course) will be responsible for another human being. There are so many books, checklists, and things to do, that it feels completely overwhelming trying to gauge where we are and *if* we are on target, if that’s even possible. It all felt punctuated this week by beginning the process of trying to find daycare for MK.
Note: The beginnings of my lists started in week 19
Daycare is the one task I’ve been dreading since even before we were pregnant. Because I no longer work at home (not that it would have mattered), full-time daycare is the only option we have in order for us both to keep working (which we want to do). That’s one “UGH.” The second “UGH” is that daycare where we live is hard to find, and expensive. Like more than our mortgage expensive. We are now on lists for openings, which is stressful, because I haven’t seen these lists to know I’m really on them and will really be called if there was an opening. One woman even told us to call monthly. Sure, I’ll just add that to the list.
So now we wait. Thankfully, with my parents in town, they have offered to help until we get in a place we feel good about, so hopefully we will hear back from someone soon. It’s already difficult enough to know I won’t have as much leave as I would have hoped for (the downside of not being in my new job long), and that we just don’t know a lot of people who are in this stage. It’s been hard enough even knowing what questions to ask and what expectations are reasonable.
Thank you for listening to all of that, it feels good to have that off my chest.
On a positive note, I am knocking down pregnancy/parenting books like it’s my job. However with every one I finish, there are five more that pop up on my radar. And we did some major spring cleaning and organization over the weekend. Somehow it feels so good the more we simplify. Must. Get. Rid. Of. Stuff.
I am just feeling really grateful for where I’m at this week, even if I’m constantly overwhelmed by all that’s still in front of us. I try to never take for granted how good I feel and how lucky I’ve been throughout this pregnancy. Most people continue to say I don’t even look pregnant (which I don’t know how to take?) but every kick and squirm I feel validates that little MK, Neil and I are a good team so far.
Still, with every feeling of validation, comes 10 more of insecurity, and it’s impossible not to wonder if I’m going to be a good parent, and if I’m really going to be able to jungle all the major bowling balls and goals I still have for my life. I definitely feel like my attempts to prepare my environment around me are a manifestation of this insecurity that I might not be good enough.
I am STILL thinking about my reveal cake. My ability to be preoccupied by food in pregnancy is unlike anything else. However because my protein intake requirements are so high, I’m just as obsessive about getting really good sources of protein and plenty of veggies to balance it in my diet.
The theme of this pregnancy is still taco salads. I think I’ve had this meal at least 10 times at this point, and it NEVER gets old. Poor Neil.
I had my first big cheat in a few weeks on Friday night: a loaded Billiards burger and sweet potato fries with several refills of Diet Pepsi. It was AMAZING, but afterward, I thought my heart was going to explode and MK must have been doing body rolls because he/she was WILD. Cheats are always good while they are happening, but they also tend to put me right back on track.
Another good week. I’m really no taking these for granted, and am crossing my fingers for a nice long cool spring before the inevitable Missouri summer starts. I continue to work on planking outside the gym, and am slowly working myself to great and greater spans of time.
In other news, pulled out the bigger tops that I bought in first trimester:
“Fight Gone Badder”
KB swings (53/35)
With a running clock, you will have 1 minute at each station and 1 minute rest after all 5 stations. Score is total reps completed.
Skill work: Snatch (I’m currently kind of maxed out at about 65# on this movement)
6x400m Run + 50 burpees
Active Rest – 2 mile walk with dogs
20 Minute AMRAP
10 Push press @115/85
10 Kettlebell Swing @55/35
10 Box Jump (24″)
Ring Dips 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Handstand Push-Ups 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
These are super-set’s. Perform 10 Ring Dips, then 1 Handstand Push-Up. Climb down the rep ladder for Ring Dips while climbing up the rep ladder for Handstand Push-Ups until the final set of 10 Handstand Push-Ups in complete.
Active Rest – 1 mile walk with dogs, also did about 50 burpees with the 8AM free class I coached.