…for which I truly apologize. I didn’t intend for it to happen that way, but between coming home from Minnesota on Monday, a big decision made Tuesday and the subsequent chase it’s led us on this week :deep breath: coupled with continued wedding planning, house projects, freelance and oh yeah our full time jobs :deep breath: …we are completely beat! On top of all that we were supposed to be leaving for Springfield in about an hour to shoot our engagement photos with Tim, but the forecast is a midwest monsoon so we’ve backed off that plan until May (Poor Tim!).
The big decision has been the conclusion that upon marriage we’ll look to move out into our own place. For the past few weeks through no fault of anyone we’ve been tossing back and forth a lot of our stressful feelings and the major shared stress is my parents house. Don’t get me wrong, it’s gorgeous and it’s been a wonderful opportunity to live contract free and enjoy some cost savings while helping my out-of-town parents, but it has costs. The time it takes to upkeep a house of that magnitude has been around 5-6 hours a week without regular lawn care or gardening. It’s a lot of space for two people and the biggest stress is that it’s not our space. We’re clean and orderly but when it’s someone else’s space, you want to work extra hard to keep it clean and appease and exceed expectations. Being human, sometimes you falter and can’t juggle all the balls at once. I know this is jumbled and probably doesn’t make sense, but the feelings derived from trying to appease and exceed expectations in care makes living there not feel like living there so much as working there, which snowballs into personal emotions, a crux in relationship dynamics and finally a breakdown in one or both. This week was kind of the realization through both.
As soon-to-be newlyweds, the greatest pearl of wisdom I received from our priest and married couple with whom we counseled is this:
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
It addresses what I feel our decision process came to mean, and where our priorities need to be and remain. We can’t be successful unless our priority is always our relationship and its solvency first. It’s not that everything else falls beneath it, but it has to be made to work around our priorities as a couple. So, with that said, say a prayer that we find a good, safe place and that life continues to be good to us.
On that note, our weekend will be busy busy, but I h0pe to catch up on a little posting. Most of all I’m craving ice cream and a little time outdoors, so maybe some planting is in order. At the very least I’ll get outside to clean the garage. Boo!